Tuesday, March 25, 2008

LOVE ME, I'M A LIBERAL

You decide to start a blog, but don't know where to begin. So, after a brief introduction--manager of large bookstore in liberal left coast community--you dive right in. Back story be damned!

The page comes across the radio: "There's a woman down here who wants to speak to the manager."

Nothing good ever comes of this page. I set down what I'm working on, put on my best fake smile, and head down to meet my fate of the moment (because a bookseller's day is made up of many little fates, writ small but sharp).

She: I can't believe that in [insert bastion of liberal thinking here] the first thing I see as I walk in the door is Ann Coulter's new book.

Me: We always display the newest, hottest books in the front of the store, regardless of their political affinity.

She: But every community is different. Here in [bastion of liberal thinking] we don't want to see Ann Coulter in the bookstore. Why isn't Al Gore's book up there?

Me: Al Gore's book was up there when it first came out. It sold so well that we currently don't have any in stock.

She: I live in [bastion of liberal thinking] precisely so that I don't have to look at things like this.

Me: I'm sorry ma'am. Is there anything else I can do for you?

It's a business, folks! I sell it all. Your political ideology--even if it happens to jibe with mine--is not the only one. Furthermore, let me sell lots of Ann Coulter--or Bill O'Reilly, or Rush Limbaugh, or Michael Savage--books, and I'll be able to carry all of the interesting, obscure, esoteric liberal tracts you're so hot for.

You're a liberal? Be liberal!


HERE'S ONE MORE TITLE THAT GAVE ME GRIEF AS A BOOKSTORE MANAGER...


Hey Rube: Blood Sport, the Bush Doctrine, and the Downward Spiral of Dumbness Modern History from the Sports Desk by Hunter S. Thompson.  But this one was my own fault.  You see, while the front cover shows Dr. Thompson wearing a white shirt and trousers and sneakers and leaning up against a car, the back cover pictures him walking away from the camera.  Nude.  It was so funny and old-man scrawny, I just had to display the back of the book.  That didn't go over so well, but it made me laugh (plus, it was right around the time Thompson sent himself off into the great beyond, and it seemed a fitting tribute).

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