Monday, August 8, 2011

Liquidation Diary: Subversion for the Soul

The most time-consuming soul-sucking task at my soul-sucking job these days is the creation and maintenance of the dreaded "You Pay" sign. Liquidators love "You Pay" signs, as I believe I made clear in an earlier post, and with good reason. They are an easy, splashy way to talk to the customer. "Originally $26.00. You Pay $18.20!" Who wouldn't respond to that? Our liquidator has a particular fondness for computer generated signs, so I used his template the other day and made dozens of them, which I placed strategically all over the front of store. I later learned that I skipped an apparently crucial step. In an empty space that sits under the title  of the item I was supposed to write in exclamation point punctuated phrases such as, "Take Me Home Today!" "Read Me Tonight!" "Best Book Ever!"

You get the picture.

Having been instructed to race around the store and fill in the blanks before the big boss liquidator's visit on Saturday morning, I got out my black marker and began. "Clancy Rocks!" on the sign for Tom Clancy's latest factory written thriller, although not exactly the kind of generic message he was requesting, was still pretty bland and inoffensive.

I decided to go topical for The Dukan Diet, the diet (I heard) that Kate Middleton did to fit into her wedding dress.

But then I moved to a table filled with mostly political titles past their prime. On a table filled with George W. Bush's Decision Points,

Sarah Palin's America By Heart

Glenn Beck's Broke

Bill O'Reilly's Pinheads and Patriots

and Laura Ingraham's Of Thee I Zing,

how could I not have a little fun?

Then I couldn't stop. 

Here are celebrity memoirs from Ricky Martin (Me) and LaToya Jackson (Starting Over).

Ricky's has a little grammatical editorializing from a co-worker.

And then a couple more memoirs. What is it about memoirs?

And finally, Earth, by Jon Stewart. Hey, it's more truthy than either Mortenson or Frey.

Subversion. It's good for the soul.


Mike Manders said...

Becky, (Mike btw), I want to buy those Signs, not the books. Group of us laughing so hard right now.

Rebecca Glenn said...

I had fun. You know what's hilarious? Nobody even noticed. Not the liquidator or his boss, not a single one of my coworkers (except when I pointed them out), nary a customer.

My own private rebellion. Super-private.

Litgirl7 said...

I'm picturing 'You Pay' bookplates, which one could fill out (Zingers! 'Better Book Titles!'Catchphrases!) and place in every book we own! How fun would that be?!

Great Job, Becky!...and had I been there, I would have noticed!!!

Rebecca Glenn said...

Ooh, bookplates...I like that idea! A perfect accessory to sell in a small independent bookstore (with not a hint of corporate interest or big box soullessness).

EnriqueFreeque said...

That's just classic. I love the subversion.

Leah said...

These are amazing! Thank you for the laugh :)

Rebecca Mecomber said...

Funny!!! My kids and I tend to notice little thing like that-- we have a definite penchant for the whimsy.

J.G. said...

These are awesome! I am LOL (literally). You deserve better bosses and customers than those who didn't notice. Some of us would have walked through the whole store to make sure we didn't miss any good ones.

Cheezeburger cats got nothin' on you.

Rebecca Glenn said...

Thanks, J.G. I'm happy to say that at least one of the kids in the store has taken up the challenge, and made quite a few lovely, snarky signs. (He commented on a You Pay for a Nicholas Sparks title, "Boy, this guy sure writes a lot of books.")