The most time-consuming soul-sucking task at my soul-sucking job these days is the creation and maintenance of the dreaded "You Pay" sign. Liquidators love "You Pay" signs, as I believe I made clear in an earlier post, and with good reason. They are an easy, splashy way to talk to the customer. "Originally $26.00. You Pay $18.20!" Who wouldn't respond to that? Our liquidator has a particular fondness for computer generated signs, so I used his template the other day and made dozens of them, which I placed strategically all over the front of store. I later learned that I skipped an apparently crucial step. In an empty space that sits under the title of the item I was supposed to write in exclamation point punctuated phrases such as, "Take Me Home Today!" "Read Me Tonight!" "Best Book Ever!"
You get the picture.
Having been instructed to race around the store and fill in the blanks before the big boss liquidator's visit on Saturday morning, I got out my black marker and began. "Clancy Rocks!" on the sign for Tom Clancy's latest factory written thriller, although not exactly the kind of generic message he was requesting, was still pretty bland and inoffensive.
I decided to go topical for The Dukan Diet, the diet (I heard) that Kate Middleton did to fit into her wedding dress.
But then I moved to a table filled with mostly political titles past their prime. On a table filled with George W. Bush's Decision Points,
Sarah Palin's America By Heart,
Glenn Beck's Broke,
Bill O'Reilly's Pinheads and Patriots,
and Laura Ingraham's Of Thee I Zing,
how could I not have a little fun?
Then I couldn't stop.
Here are celebrity memoirs from Ricky Martin (Me) and LaToya Jackson (Starting Over).
Ricky's has a little grammatical editorializing from a co-worker.
And then a couple more memoirs. What is it about memoirs?
And finally, Earth, by Jon Stewart. Hey, it's more truthy than either Mortenson or Frey.
Subversion. It's good for the soul.
1 month ago